Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Scene 1: ASIO’s Cuddles Avenue Headquarters
B15: Are you thinking what I’m thinking B16?
B16: I think I am B15
Together: It’s Terrorist Time!

Scene 2: a nearby pub
B15: Hey, what about this guy Izhar ul-Haque?
B16: Doesn’t he play cricket for Pakistan?
B15: I don’t think so. He’s a doctor.
B16: Can a doctor be a terrorist?
B15: Well, he was a student first and all students are ratbags
B16: True. What University?
B15: Dunno. NSW maybe?
B16: Oh yeah, right. The one near the railway station.

Scene 3: the doctor’s house
B15: You’re under arrest
B16: Take him away
B17 (a very junior banana): Where sir?
B15: Goulburn Jail you idiot. Stick him in solitary and threaten to beat him up. We’ll be there later.
Dr Ul-Haque: Can I call my lawyer?
B15 and B16 (together): Of course not. You’re a terrorist.

Scene 4: the NSW supreme court
Judge: B15 and B16, you’ve been very naughty bananas.
B15: It wasn’t us, honest.
B16: Must have been some other fruit
Judge: I am satisfied that you committed the criminal offences of false imprisonment and kidnapping at common law and also an offence under Section 86 of the Crimes Act 1900.
B15: Well, if you’re satisfied then we are too
Mr al-Downer (Government representative): We are too, your honour
B16: Can we go now?

Exeunt omnes, pursued by a teddy-bear

It’s hard to believe but the judge actually said all that stuff about criminal offences. He also remarked that the conduct of the otherwise unidentified bananas was “grossly improper and constituted an unjustified and unlawful interference with the personal liberty of the accused.”

He went on to remark that it was reminiscent of Kafka and “a gross interference by the agents of the state with the accused’s legal rights as a citizen.”

I don’t often rant about matters political but this one, as well as being a black comedy, is also extremely serious. The government has been desperate to find some terrorists in the lead-up to the election so they can look tough, even if they have to throw them overboard themselves. So some stupid bananas in ASIO decide to go along for the ride. (Who will rid me of this troublesome priest?)

Well, we’ll never get to hold anyone in government accountable except, in a general sort of way, at next week’s election (where I hope we finally kick the bastards out). But ASIO must be held to account. After the judge’s remarks I hope someone at the DPP’s office is taking a serious look at B15 and B16 and whoever gave them their orders.

Toss ’em in the salad bowl and throw away the key, I say. After all, there’s plenty of legislation which makes doing so perfectly acceptable…

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 17th, 2007 at 8:23 pm and is filed under And furthermore..., World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.


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